Behind yet again!!! Wa wa wahhhhh!

So Christmas has come and gone and so has New Years!! Hard to believe but happy as hell that it's true! The holidays remind me of planning for my wedding. All the time prepping and planning. All the money spent just to make the day memorable and perfect...then WHOOSH! It's gone and all you are left with is a credit card bill and duplicate spice racks as gifts. Well for Christmas it was...WHOOSH! Instead of nifty spices...we got a fertility symbol (a present from John's parents and dearly deceased Grandmother), not sure how we feel about that gift still. It's haunting my every move from a bookcase in our living room. As well as us both getting sick a few days after the holiday. John is convinced we got it at my mother's house so now there is possibly no way we are going back next year. A bit dramatic and unrealistic, but I haven't totally stricken the idea from the board.

What I love most about Christmas is the sheer fact of being with the people we love the most (cliche' I know) and sometimes the swag. The kind of swag that shows that the person who gave it to you actually gave a damn and knows who you are. Those are the gifts that totally rock. Toats. I feel like a gift I gave one of my brothers hits that feeling right on it's soft spot of awesomeness.

And well the family part seems to be a given cause John's family is awesome. I am a lucky girl in the fact I love my in-laws. John on the other hand...eeek...not so much the fondness that I may have for his. But I know he stills cares about them.

Does anyone out there want to share your fav holiday moments? Family (Leave em' or love em'? Any amazing...or perplexing gifts that you recieved or gave?

Feeling the Need for (insert need/item) in My Life.

Is it just me or do random wants attack everyone around this time of the year (or day)?

Right now I am feeling the need for:

1) A nap
2) Another coffee (which will hopefully remedy need #1)
3) A massive shopping spree at the Home Depot at which I will buy:
a) Electric fireplace (my tootsies will not warm themselves!)
b) Paint for the spare bedroom
c) Whatever I can ooohhh and aaahhh about and fit in my cart
4) A baby or a puppy (puppy is more economical right now and I am itching for something to cuddle and love. I blame it on ovulation. Damn my woman parts!
5) A massive bank account and end to my sweet tooth (I know one does not connect with the other, but I rather have a fat wallet than tummy.)

So does anyone else feel the ho-hum kind of feeling or am I just special?

A Book of Possibilities

Alright, so after watching some Netflix the other night and watching (yet again) "Last Holiday" with Queen Latifah, I got to thinking her "Book of Possibilities". It is a great idea. All your hopes ad dreams ready and waiting for you to peruse and seek out whenever you are feeling low or uninspired.

I had to do a lame ass "Inspiration Board" for a going nowhere job I had a few years back and to be honest it was fun to dream a little big. It's almost like when you play the lottery when the jackpot is really big. Everyone gets to sit around and say "If I won the lottery I would...do this...buy this...go there...” But with the "Possibilities Book", it is almost like the same concept, though more attainable and more in your face (in yo face sucka!).

I am thinking on my lunch today jotting a few things down. The question is can I get John to do the same?? If I started this should I just keep the book (it would be just a general notebook to start) in a general place in the house where we could both just grab it when a notion or idea comes to us? Or would it fall to the wayside like every good intention/resolution that we seem to start up? Hmm...the possibilities of it all *pun intended*.

I love intentions/resolutions for the fact that when you make them they make you feel a thousand feet tall or even somewhat invincible. Has anyone out there ever made a resolution/possibility book and have actually kept it?

Random Things Done on a Snow Day by a Random Girl That Was Mostly Done in Her Randomly Matched Pajamas.

So nothing too exciting here in the Simon household but I said I would post more often so here we go nonetheless. Prepare to be totally unexcited and have your attention totally unriveted (can I use that word in this context, hmmm)...

Today I did:

1)Woke up and had some coffee!

2)Helped shovel the driveway with John and learned that we did indeed not have a second snow shovel and had to borrow one from the neighbors.

3) Did some laundry, dusted, cleaned bathrooms (typical household responsibilities).

4)Watched bits and parts of a couple of Mel Brooks films.

5)Made off like a bandit with the left over homemade TWIX bars I made back for our friends Thanksgiving from late last month ( okay I shared those with John).

6)Finally showered. I feel like a lovely lady now.

I can totally see him..
but it's still cute that he's
trying to hide.

7) Worked on project "Dino Butts" a bit.

8) Was on Facebook way too much.

9) Made John do his fav thing ever and go through a random pile of paper from the office, we always get a few of these laying around the house at the same time no matter how hard I try to keep us organized. Their like Tribbles...or cats. Annoying to say the least as you can see from this photo of John.

9) Doing my blog post for ya all.

Now I think I may retire to bed with some ibuprofen and a craft book. Going to go hang with my momma tomorrow on Main Street to enjoy some holiday goodness. See you on the flipside!



Some Tips on having a bitchin' New Year (and if you really try, possibly an even better 2014 the whole year through!)

So we are going to start this post out with a popular topic right now out on the internet, New Years and how to have the best one possible! But really, isn't this topic up for interpretation? To the individual? I think so, but nonetheless here are some ways you can have the best one possible.

Our first link to an article comes from YAHOO! This article gives you a few steps on how to start off your New Year right. I think a few of them are valid and practical, but not so much step-by-pesky step that most guides can be. I especially love #1, #5 and #6. I always want to learn a few new tricks and trades (Cuddle House entrepreneurship here I come!) and love spending time with my homies when I can get the chance.

The second link is to a really interesting video about a way you can break down your resolutions month by month. What is great this is literally step-by-step so no excuses now (That is spoken more for me than anyone else). The young lady also has a blog that is somewhat interesting as well if you are a youngster in college. But again sometimes I think some advice is great for any stage in life.

The third is the generic step-by-step taught to us all by a self-help guru. The one whose steps sound so easy its stupid "DUH!", but quietly we're all like "It's so simple, it's genius! How practical, I cannot fail!!" The one we say why bother cause it's so simple that you don't need a tutorial or even a 5-line article, but in the gloom of the post-lunch coma we really spend time secretly googling (remember to use lubrication) these steps.

So in order to freak everyone out now...What resolutions are you going to make, break and overall stress about? Do you have any methods of keeping them that you would like to share with the class? Any that you regret not keeping or following?

I think I would like to:

1) Learn how to knit

2) Lose weight (boring and generic I know)

3) Finally get everyone room in my house painted and touched up in spots where needed

4) Keep up with my blogs

There are so many more, but right now I cannot think of them. But again, keep me posted on yours and we'll see who kicked whose ass this time next year!!

Cookies on a Cold Day



*Takenwithcellphone, does not necessarily show true awesomeness that comes from free cookies.

 You got to somehow make coming into work with the knowledge that your drive home may blow because of *incoming snow/people driving like idiots/ice/more people thinking this may be occasion to go buy 12 loaves of bread and 6 gallons of milk LIKE RIGHT THIS SECOND AHHH SNOW!* by making cookies. Cause cookies make any situation better. Unless you are diabetic. Or hate cookies. So since I happen to looove me some cookies...cookies for everyone!! Huzzah!






Still...so....sorry!

Alright I said yesterday that I would be back to do a little updating for you all and whew...here I am! So what's new in the whole almost year since I really posted everything....hmmm.

Well I now work full-time for a great university in the picturesque town of Saint Charles, Mo.

Still happily married to my husband John. We celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary this past October. We celebrated with going up to Valparaiso Indiana with some of our friends for the 2nd year in a row to work in a haunted house up there. Yep, you heard me. We celebrate our love by getting gored up and making (hopefully) people want to pee themselves. Love is grand.

Here is our Christmas Card photo.

We have been doing a few things around the house to make it snazzier. I am actually trying to do a separate blog relating to those issues. But as you can all see, I have a blog resilience deficiency going on. But I am hoping you can link to the other blog from here eventually and back again. I will also be putting even more randomness over there as well. Recipes, things I dig as well as mentions of other awesome that I find out on the interwebs.

One of my best friends is getting married in May which means this will be my maiden voyage or is it "matron" voyage (cause' I an old married lady) into helping plan a wedding as well as a bridal shower and bachelorette party (strippers are out), so I will be running a ton of ideas past you all.

*A side note: Don't you love how everyone that writes a blog assumes they have tons of people reading it religiously?*

Other than that, let's see, no kids yet/none in-route, though we have 3 couple friends of ours who have spawned (and all are soo cute!) either and other than that...hmmmmm. No clue. Me and John are pretty dull. But that can be a good thing I think at times. Frustrating and numbing at other times. How does one have a life of leisure AND a life of awesome?? I am determined to find out! But you can also share some nuggets of wisdom too if you'd like??

A quick y'ello!!!

So...if anyone is still reading this...anyone?? You can tell I am very, very, very forgetful. It has been soooo long since I've posted. Sorry about that. It just seems like when you have a moment, you don't think of it. And then you get reminded of your blog and think "crap it's like my Tamicoochi all over again!!!". So this is a quick hi and bye with a promise to post more often. So y'ello again. We will talk soon.

Turns out I can effffing cook!!!

So I have been experimenting in the kitchen lately, the good non-meth making kind (unlike those in my home state of Missouri are fond of), by pulling out our cookbooks and being brave.  I have discovered what a great hobby this actually can be!  Not only does it take my time up and help me unwind at the end of a work day, but at the end of it I get to eat the fruit of my efforts.  And actually end up really enjoy all the hard work that goes into it.  It's not the same as say crafting or taking pictures but still just as satisfying and a lot more filling that eating a necklace you've just made....(my sense of humor alas cannot be improved upon)

My time being unemployed actually was really good for me in a lot of ways.  I was able to in a way re-prioritize what was important to me.  My husband, my home and myself.

With cooking, I find my methodical to-the-point-of-bitch kind of personality actually works well here.  John has never been as well fed by me and when I plan my menu out, we actual save money as well.  Plus it's a pride kind of thing for me as well. 

Here are the things I have made from scratch so far: Mac n' cheese, scones, cakes, non-bake healthy yum crispies ( my own name for these little clusters of awesomeness), multiple chicken dishes and zucchini pizza.

I hope to learn to make more and more dishes so that me and John lose a bit of weight, save money and that look of pride in his eyes at my culinary genius (or ability to read a cookbook properly) continues to grow!

*Sorry for the somewhat boring blog post...

The woes of the painful, but enlightened period.

"What a great title!" you are telling yourself right now.  And yes, it is kind of brilliant, because you are also saying to yourself "whoa, Melissa is on her period...why would she tell me this?!" and "damn...now I know not to be thwarted by awesome blog titles...".

Well the point of this blog is that I realized today as I rushed myself through my office without anyone thinking "Man she's gotta pee something fierce!", is that compared to say a year or two ago, is that I am now longer sad about getting my period.

It wasn't that I was thinking I was pregnant every time, but that I was more like "I'm never going to get to have a baby!" or some whiny shitsomethingorother thought I used to have.  But I realize now, that it's okay and that I'm somewhat relieved to be getting my period these days.  Because I realize that there's a bigger picture out there for me and john...and for my uterus. 

This is going to sound selfish at first, but I'd rather get "Gutter Guards" for my house before we have some wee little ones running around sucking up all our monies!  Yep, sounds bad and kind of selfish.  But let me explain.  I want to get all the things out of the way because I know kids will be a huge financial commitment.  Who doesn't (other than the Octomom) get that?  So yes, get all the boring and to be honest, pivotal home items bought first, sit back and breathe and then decide to have those kids.

But that means the awesome things we come across for a nursery won't be things we have to disagree over when to get or leave behind.  We can do more as well for ourselves (dinners, small road trips, etc.)  We will fight less, stress less and be so much more thrilled than we already will be.

So not being pregnant right now or even next month or the month after that is actually cool with me.
Now if only I could get over the sensation of my uterus trying to break free from my vagina would I be a happier girl. 

A timeline discrepency explained

Real quick all, the blog before this one was written last year and the one before that was written 7 min or so ago.  I just thought I should post all of my old entries because you cannot explain where you are till you show where you were.  So sorry about that.

An update...finally!  Sorry I have been overwhelmed by so much that the promise I made to myself has fallen way way way under the radar of my daily life. 

So here is the update:  We bought a house, last semester of school has started for me, I had to get a new internship ( a much better internship) and just last night our two turtles died (definitely, maybe...some of it being our fault.

So everything in that list above has been a very happy time for me and John.  The house is awesome.  I am keeping myself from not putting us back in debt trying to furnish it all.  I may want to do it all right away, but everyone keeps telling me "You have the rest of your life to get it all done".  Does anyone not know me?!  I am compulsive and irritable with an unfinished project.  I stress when things are not in their place.  But I remind my self to breathe and that John might divorce me/lock me up/go back and live with his parents if I keep at it like I was when we first moved in.

But the house is coming along beautifully and I hope it will all be more or less painted by the beginning of October.  We are thinking of having our house warming event for our families around the 13th/14th and I really want at least that done. 

But now the thing that is really getting me is that and this has to do with a few things 1) Fall, I always feel so great around this time as if this is the time the world is starting anew 2) Eli is getting to be so big and he's running around 3) We have a house...I am starting to ask John when we really can consider us trying to have a baby.  I tell him that even if I got pregnant right away I wouldn't have the baby until mid next year and even if we didn't right away...and so on and so on.  It just seems like the next logical step...

But John and I both agree that we just bought the house and we need time to let that at least ease off of our shoulders.  Which he is totally right about.  But I kind of wish he would catch baby fever and let me have a break from it.

Now this is a gap!

So this blog is a beyond perfect example of how I get excited one sec and forget about it the next.  I have the best of intentions but the memory span of a gerbil on pez.  I believe I've seen case studies to back up that claim.  So I say I will continue this....I say I will be diligent, but I can no longer make promises as those.  But I can say I will try.  Because my life is pretty awesome and who am I to deny the world of a little bit more awesomeness?  I am no one!  So I say enjoy!  And of course be patient with me as well.

Now For The Busy Part Of Our Lives

Here is the 2nd promised blog.

We put a contract down on a house!!

Perfect right? Yes and no. We did put a contract down, which was returned at lightening speed as accepted. Which is good and bad. Good in because, yippee a house, bad as now half of the house is packed up and I am as tense as a rod of bamboo. And all in all I have taken it out I believe on one person. My husband John. Sorry honey. So yes over the last week I have felt I have been a particularly bad wife.

But now we are waiting for the old owners to approve a 2nd contract, they had things they needed to fix before we get the house appraised and if we don't get the house appraised for the correct amount the bank will not approve what we need to get the house and we will have to start looking all over again and our apartment is already 1/2 packed up....you seen the conundrum we are in.

Kind of blows.

School starts in 4 weeks for me which I think I am nervous about as well. And the internship I hope goes well. My somewhat immediate job future kind of depends on it a bit. But again it doesn't. It's all weird and complicated. John's job also said that some of his department might get cut, but we won't know anything I think for another week or so. Which again ties into so much right now. The house and John having to find work again (Which I know he will, he is brilliant and hard working. A great combo.) Plus I do not want John to stress out about all of this. He carries so much already on his shoulders and feels like he doesn't need to worry me as well by all of it. He's a superhero without the tights and mask. My superhero.

But I guess I just don't care for all the "maybe" aspects of my life right now. I am a high strung individual who needs routine and stability to feel calm. And all of that is up in the air or packed away already in a box, I'm not sure which. Which kind of sucks because I never imagined myself as this kind of an adult. Funny and depressing how things kind of work out.

But I have to calm down, breathe and take John's hand in mine and know we will always be alright in the end as long as we remember each other. As I have told him many times, we don't break that easily.

Regret Is An Attainable Thing

I know I haven't blogged in a while ( A LOT going on) so I will be doing 2 entries today. This first one is one I need to get out.

There are a lot of things that are hard to come by in life. A great job, a true love, toned abs and a huge bank account. I so far have one of those things (true love) and am working on the bank account and job thing. Abs I will doubt be something I will attain and keep. But the one thing any human come come easily to is regret. I have been able to attain regret a lot lately. It seems to always be lurking around the corner, behind a decision and deep within me. Hiding somewhere I think behind my spleen and or kidneys. I think I resolve it, but then open my big mouth and say or act in a way that shows it is not completely gone.

As anyone who knows me I have a great husband, John, a man who saw beyond family issues and personal hangups to somehow become exactly what I needed and wanted in my life. He is amazing. You will never meet a kinder, smarter person than John. But I think I am making him doubt himself as a husband. I say this in the fact that we will have a tiff or if I become angry at him for some reason, he goes above and beyond to accommodate me or make me feel better. A lot of people might say this is great and why I am complaining. The thing is I don't want him to feel like he...

This is all very hard to figure out how I want to put it into words....

I don't want him to feel like he has to make up or fix any of this when it is my issue. I feel like I am breaking something inside of our marriage when I act like this. I don't say what I really want or think because I feel like I am being a nag or too needy or too picky. And I don't want to be a burden or make John do what I want to do against what he wants to really do and so then I get mad because...I just do. And then I act like a total bitchy ball n' chain asshole in front of people and to John (which is never, never, never acceptable). I always swore I would always treat John with respect and never make him feel belittled or less as a husband than what he is. Which is a spectacular husband. A spectacular friend.

So yes, these are my issues and I need to find a way to resolve them and keep them from interfering in my marriage. I feel when I look at myself I do not see joy. Not in the way I am running my life right now. Not the way I am running myself right now. I have forgotten how to go along with the flow of life I think.

So John this blog went out to you as a very, very, very sincere apology and a promise to make myself show you how much I do love you and to take a deep, deep breathe before I let myself forget what you really mean to me and to remember that you have always been and will remain there for me.

This blog does not even have a working title.

Okay, so other than me getting my internship nothing has happened in my or our lives. But with the intership, which is the last one I need for my degree, I was saving it for my last semester so that maybe a job offer might be made and I could jump right into the workplace. That is what I am hoping for, but who knows. But I got the internship so II do not have to worry about it for at least a month.

But other than that nothing else has really gone on. No more fighting between me and John about house hunting, but that is because we haven't had time to go out and look. But again hopefully it will not come to that. I just don't know though. It just seems as if that is the one thing that we cannot see eye to eye on.

But yes nothing else has come up. And I don't know if I should be happy about that or not. I want my life to be more exciting, but I say all the time I don't have time to do all I want to do. So should I shut up or find something to do? A hobby? Hell no not another job...so what? I feel like there is no room in our place for me to even consider a hobby. I get after John all the time for leaving his brewing and armor gear all over. So there is no way I can bring in more stuff to take up what little room we already do not have. Maybe when we get a house, I will feel like it's time for a hobby.

So sorry world, this has turned out to be the most boring blog in the world. Ever!

The adventures of feeling blahhhhish.

So the house at Cole is out. The possibility that every time it rains is like taking a gamble on it maybe not flooding this time and maybe next time it will. Just can't deal with that. I am still really heartbroken though every time I think about those beautiful bathrooms and how every damn thing...every damn thing was new!! All I can say is if I keep this blog up, you will see tons of posting of how pissed at John I am because I can't get him to paint or buy anything new for the house. Those blogs will come I can guarantee it.

So we are back on hunt. We will be in a house this year. I know it, John has said so and I know we can do it. But I just want it to be done. I know I am only 30, but it feels like so much of my life has been spent trying to get there or here. And I just want it to already be done with. I just want to be able to feel like I've "arrived", that I finally get to just enjoy myself and...well I just feel like I am in a sucky kind of place right now.

But I did get the 2nd required internship for my degree today. It's a production assistant internship, so it's different than the one before. I will have another notch to my resume when I graduate in the fall. Plus I am making some good contacts within Emmis so maybe I will be able to get a job a little bit easier after all is said and done.

But I still feel like I am in a real sucky place. Maybe I am just in a mood and I need to eat and then go exercise a bit. Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Blah. Blah.

Fighting is never something that wants to be done, but I think it is something that sometimes needs to be done

I promised I would blog about this. Not because I think it will enlighten or help anyone else avoid my pitfalls, but because I kept facebooking my feelings last night and that kept everyone wondering what the hell was going on with me and john.

Well first things first, we are okay. We completely talked everything out last night and neither one of us went to bed angry or hurt last night. That is always always important to never go to bed angry. Because if you do, resentment builds that you didn't try to fix it and you resent your spouse for not trying to fix it. So we try to never let that happen. I think even if you have to wake your spouse back up or if you even have to start the fight up again, something needs to happen so that you reach a resolve. And that John is the best man I know and I could not have asked for a better friend that I also can call my husband.

So this is how it all started: we started house hunting again. Saturday went great, no houses, but we both were on the same page about each one of the ones we looked at. At the end of the day John even thanked me for the consideration on his feelings, which was nice. I was glad I had not lost my head and fluttered about saying "we can do this, why don't you like that?" and blahblahblah. He felt great that neither one of us were ignoring how the other felt in order to get our way.

Which is one of the reasons I felt so shitty about how yesterday went.

So we went and looked at 4 houses, 1 we both liked and thought to keep in mind and 2 we both didn't and so we walked out. And 1...well I loved loved loved it. And John said he just didn't get the feeling of it being the "one". Which got me riled up. Riled up in the aspect that I just didn't understand why. That John was being difficult and not really looking at the house for it's true value. I even said to him that I wish in this one aspect I could push him into my way of thinking and just tell him that "no this is the one, we are putting a contract on it and..." and also that I was thinking "why can't he just give me one just this one time?"

So let me tell you about the house. It was a rehab. A 3 bedroom, 2 bath house. Separate living room and family room (it had the kitchen in between). It had a unfinished basement and a huge tree lined backyard. It is 129,900.00 (I kept telling everyone last night it was 120,000.00). The thing is with it being a rehab, we have seen awful ones, totally half-assed and creepy ones. This one...this one was beautiful. From the front door to the bathrooms. This place was immaculate and so well done it was amazing. I am serious, the only thing we have to do at all is repaint the three bedrooms (they were all a light yellow). So in having lived in own town home for 7 years and finding it is impossible to make John buy anything we've needed or wanted in order to spruce the place up unless I buy it for myself, I thought "yes...somewhere where we don't have to do a damn thing! I won't have to ask John for hardly anything and he'll appreciate that!".

So yes I thought this is the one, this is it, it was perfect. But John did not. And I was confused. He has given me a list of what he would like in our house: 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, a full basement, huge backyard, a nice kitchen, a fireplace in the living room. So this house had every single one of these things. Every single one. And with every freaking thing in this house being new, every single damn thing, it was a cherry on top of the sundae. But he didn't think so and again I did not get it. And so the anger started to brew. And then as we were leaving, Gaye (Our agent) started to notice sporadic houses in the neighborhood going through garbage on their front lawns. Flood damaged stuff. Most likely from their basements. And then they both started talking how this house must be a flooder. And I thought "great John wins", now he has a reason to shoot me down and just not using the "feeling" aspect of it all. And that made me even angrier.

So we got home and the point of breaking soon happened. The thing is I feel like every big decision in my life is being put on hold and not by me. I don't decide when we have a house or when we have a baby. It's when John feels it is time. And I don't get a say in any of it. I have felt this way for a long time. And I never told John. That is my fault. I do take blame for that. I thought if I shared that any of this I was being selfish and a nag. That I would be putting undue pressure on John and then he would worry he wasn't being a good husband. Which he is and always has been. But with trying to make sure we have the best lives for us and our future children, I think we have ignored what is supposed to happening now. What we need now. I went off on how what I felt and was thinking never mattered. Because I really thought and felt this was how it had been. That John didn't trust me enough when I said that I knew this was the house for us. So that he should from now on just go house hunting without me and I will move in and deal with it.

And then a few hours later after a meal break, small naps on both sides and a wine break (I was the one drinking the wine and it was only a glass and a half) we started back up and that was when I got back on how I feel absolutely powerless in the main decisions in my life. How I hate being powerless and that is all I feel lately. So that made John start crying again and I cried again. And we both apologized for our mistakes. Mine again for not telling him and John for not seeing it and making me feel like this. And I began telling him about the house (yes the house) and why I thought it was perfect for us. Seriously and then how he had dismissed it without any real hard consideration. I asked him then to rethink it all and he said he would. I told him without knowing for sure about the flooding that we shouldn't walk away from it. We could maintain the lifestyle we have now, it's close to where we live now, everything is new in the house and it is move in ready and it is way below what we were looking for price wise. But in my anger I think I was feeling as he was dismissing the house he was dismissing me as well.

But after all this came up last night and we finally stopped crying I realized my anger had gone away and I finally felt better. And so did John. And we finally slept. Sound and deep. John had a dream that was a bit sad and he is still today a bit close to tears now and then. And so am I when I look at him. But today there is almost a fresh air blowing.

So we are going to wait to see what Gaye says about the flooding and if it is a flooder, we walk. If it is not, we take a 2nd look and see what happens. And really that was all I was asking for. Not to be dismissed or thought to be just over excitable. That's all. And today again there is a feeling of freedom. So much was said that has been needed to be said and there is an understanding that wasn't there yesterday.

So again, even if you have to start fighting again, I am glad neither one of us went to bed angry. And today we woke up realizing how lucky we really are.

Found money is the greatest thing ever...losing a $20 unfathomable

So yes I lost a $20 today and I became so pissed at myself. I think it was at the Starbucks in Des Peres. So if you found a $20 there, it is mine. And I want it back!!

So yesterday me, john, Eli, Mary and Robert- john's sister and brother in-law and Kayleigh, their daughter, all went to the Magic House and then to lunch. It was awesome. So much to see and do. And Eli behaved so excellently. No crying or fussing. The only time was when we a little bit overdue for lunch and a little in need for a nap.

But overall it was a great afternoon and it was great to hang out with Mary, Robert and Kayleigh. It gave me a bit of a taste on what it will one day be kind of like when we have our own kid.

But man was I exhausted, it's got to be my old age. Yikes. What will next year be like? I might have to put myself into an old age home.

But tomorrow I have the day off and we are going to go house hunting and all of our choices look great. So I am excited about it all. But I also have Sunday off and we might go look at 4 more. I don't know. But all I know is that I finally have a weekend in whilc I did not have to sign up and take off for. And no family, work or other obligations have come into play. So I am kind of looking forward to it without worrying about where I have to be and when I have to be there.

So Wednesday I have an interview (Thanks Jason Church!) for an internship as a production assistant at "The Point". I have not taken any real production classes yet (will be in the fall) and so I am going in kind of clueless but the gentlemen knows this and I told him I am willing to learn on my feet and this seems to be good enough for him. So I am excited, nervous and grateful for this chance. Plus it will give me experience that I will be able to use in the classroom, another "in" at Emmis and another chance to see all the great people and friends I made when I worked at Emmis back in '09.

So I am trying not to chew on my nails and keep my complexion clear and stress free. Awwww. Oh and I reserved the weekend for the 15th and 16th in October. But now I might have to change it due to a visit from the best uncles in the whole universe! So yes I will gladly change the dates around to make sure we get quality time with Uncle Mike and Bill. As I said, they are honestly the greatest uncles in the world.

It's Kind Of A Funny Thing...

Right now it seems all my posts are about B&B's and our anniversary. So sorry about that. But the thing is that if you know me or anything about me you know I...LOVE...THE...FALL! I love everything about it! I love the colors, the smell in the air, the festivals, the fairs, pumpkins and apple picking and above anything else in the fall that I love, I love love love Halloween! It is my favorite holiday beyond all other holidays. There is just a wonderful nostalgic, wholesome, warm and fun feeling behind the whole season. Okay so now back to how the Fall and B&B's tie in together.

In October it will be mine and John's 5 year anniversary and I wanted to go somewhere that we could celebrate this milestone. Every year we do a "Haunted House Crawl". We start out early in the evening and head to every (almost every) haunted house in the area. We have done that for the last 4 years and we will do it again this year. But I wanted to do something in addition to it all. Just this year. And then when we hit 10 years we will do something then too. So not big big every year, but every once in a while to remind us how far we have come as a couple and individuals.

Okay, so yesterday my heart was broken for the fact that we could not go to "Irish Hollow"...the most decadent place I have ever seen or hope to one day go (maybe our 10?!). But I cannot ask John to spend that much on something like that. So I went on-line looking for something less expensive, but just as memorable. Some place that did not look like a doily and an antiques roadshow had had a drunken bender at. And some place that was affordable and things to go do and was intimate (no television, no phones). Someplace that me and John could really reconnect and feel as we did when he first asked me out. Not that we are sleeping in separate rooms or any such nonsense. But just a chance for us to be really alone with one another and just...be. Simple as that.

So I'm looking and looking and wallah! I found the complete, absolute total opposite of "Irish Hollow". The only comparisons are the beautiful surroundings and well it is in a cabin. But the cabin, well safe to say it is rustic. Rustic in the fact there is no...ready for this...no 1)running water, 2) electricity and no....well aren't those two the most important!? I am not kidding you, there is no toilet, no electricity and no running water. There is an ancient (1950's) little gas stove in it for warmth(?), heating up your bath water and cooking. A fire pit outside, a privy (outhouse, cutely decorated though) nearby, a swing on the front porch, a cozy double bed loaded with quilts and a warm and cozy decor. And for 2 days in isolated bliss it's going to run us $200. That's it! I can do that...actually it is already saved up. And we might have to pick up some battery powered candles and a lantern or two. But other than that and some appropriate clothes for hiking we are set!

Just so no one worries too badly, there is a main house a short distance up the road for quests of the cabin to head up to and shower in a enclosed space with running water you do not have to carry up there yourself, so John is relieved about that. And toilets too I am assuming (safely).

Okay why you must be asking did I literally do a full 360 and go the route of the 1800's all of a sudden? Because I realized that after I got all squeamish about the outhouse, I realized John must think I "that" kind of woman. "That" kind of a woman meaning the kind that if her car broke down or the power went out for days in the middle of a snowstorm, that I would crawl up in a ball in a corner and not be able to take care of myself. That I am that helpless without someone to take care and shelter me. Nope I am determined to make him change his mind. So yes we are going the exact opposite route and it will be awesome.

Think about having to walk in the woods for firewood, cooking over a fire pit, sipping hot cider on the front porch. Dawn just breaking as we walk to the main house for a shower. We get bored we head into town or better yet...walk out the front door and go hiking or canoe out on the river. I'll take pictures and John will be so proud and happy we did this for ourselves. I mean how often does anyone get to have to pump their own water or build their own fire just in order to cook anymore. it is literally in the middle of woods so we will be surround by the colors of fall. It looks amazing, I think we would technically be in the middle of the Ozark mountains. I am really excited for this and like I said it's already paid for.

October cannot get here fast enough for me now.